Counsellors, Men of God & Other Nigerian Road Users

Nigerian roads tell you a lot. Just keep the eyes open.

“God’s time is the best,” the long buses plying Onitsha to Lagos reminds you. Before you take that long walk to go and meet your “guyman”, clutch the Bible or Quran and pray! Don't sleep on jah!

That's the first lesson Nigerian vehicles teach you. You can't just give up on God. Wait for your time! As an Arsenal fan, those vehicles give you hope and you believe the Champions League will come someday, because God’s time is the best. Keep your stones!

Have you seen “fear woman”? Usually written behind tricycles. You almost can tell what those people have faced. This is mostly seen in Ibadan. It's second only to Pasuma, Saheed Osupa and Remi Aluko’s pictures. Some of these vehicles are disco-esque with loud music and colourful bright lights, except that they are not neon.

Some trailers and tankers come with honest instructions like “horn before overtaking”. Your failure to honk may land you in a ditch truly. Those vehicles are bullies.

Sometimes you get to see “Ogbon laye gba (life requires wisdom) or “Owonikoko” (Money is important) behind those cabs. They remind you of the paths you should trail. Why read a Dale Carnegie book when a Micra driver tells you “Olowolayemo” (the world recognises the rich)? It's as instructive as ordering a kid to go to bed.

These messages at times will strike you at the core. When the driver knows his onions, you see messages like “no risk, no reward”.

Fuji musicians don't have more passionate fans than these drivers. The other day I saw Taye Currency’s photo with the caption, “Baba Honrounable”. Arambambi 1, Ijaya Fuji with Pasuma’s photo with shiny lips and dark spectacles are also popular sights.

In other cases, the drivers tell you who they are and what they stand for. “Omo Baba Elemu”, “Omo Iya Eleko” and other signage like that trends easily on Nigerian roads. Their spellings too, pure cruise! “Fine boy no pimpuse”, and other funny messages grace those windshields. “Ta ni mi? Who are mine?”

Credit: dailygossip

“Trust nobody” is almost the most common. It tells you Nigerians will sly you if you dull it. Many have placed their beliefs and hopes on people and have been dashed and they are gracious enough to warn the vehicles behind that humans are deceitful.

Back to the faith. While “Jesus is Lord” easily tells that the driver is a devout Christian, “E yonbo Anobi” tells that the driver is a Muslim. You almost can tell their faith by merely seeing their cars or buses.

On the highways, when your journey brings you close to the most bullish beings on Nigerian roads, you see various messages in Hausa, most hailing the oneness of God.

“Iyaniwura” (mother is gold) is also one of the most read messages on Nigerian roads, and when they feel you're jumping the gun, you may get to see “Stop Shebe”.

Culture, language, tribe and everything else are explored on Nigerian roads. They remind you that “felefele laye” (life is light) or sometimes even, “the world is not your home”.

Counsellors full Nigerian roads, just “shine your eyes”.