I was given two worlds as a kid. One promised life, and the other stared death in the eye. It’s like presenting a healthy forage and poisonous plant to an animal. Wisdom should lead, naturally.
I grew up seen as one of the “omo butter” (rich kids) on a street dominated by many “Omo Pako” (poor kids). I was neither of them. My father was far from rich but considering the life I lived, ‘poor’ may be too extreme and dishonest.
Gifts weren't a thing. Not at all. Food, shelter and sometimes, clothing were available. On those odd celebratory months when my dad had some money, he'd splurge on clothes. To be honest, I couldn't care less when I didn't have those things.
In school, I admired my friends whose parents were doctors, nurses and other professionals. They'd bring food to school in flashy food flasks and wore clean white socks. I wasn't that child. It wasn't a feeling I showed to anyone too. You can't catch me envious.
Football made me popular, but I did quite well in class too. Considering where I was coming from, my environment, and the life I was exposed to at that age, I was a bit different from others. I was more rough around the edges, but clean as smooth inside. You'd see the edges. I knew what was inside.
My mates attended after-school lessons Monday to Thursday. I'd see them coming back from their extra lessons while I was out there playing football after school with my vest and school shorts. They wanted my life — the freedom I had. I wanted their life — the comfort they had. Truth be told, I enjoyed mine better because I beat most of them in class. I didn't want any extra lessons and I never did any private classes. I just wanted some of their experience. I wanted to understand what it felt like to be in their shoes. Mine didn't hurt too.
Holiday trips happened every session in my school, and for five years, I didn't attend any of them. I never even mentioned them at home. I just concluded it was an unnecessary burden for my father. I was content going to meet my maternal grandma in our hometown and go to the farm with her to harvest kola nuts, cassava, cocoyam etc. That was my excursion. An experience I’m grateful for.
On my street, I was famous for my knowledge of football and how well I played. In school, I was also popular for playing football but teachers knew me because I thrived in class. I was calm in school and many didn't know what I could be up to. I liked that air of unpredictability.
My rebellion was gentle. It wasn't the kind many people could imagine. Let me share some instances.
My primary school gave us lunch from Monday to Thursday every week and we paid for it. No matter how broke my dad could be, he never missed paying for my lunch. Not once. When I got to primary five, he started to give me the money to pay by myself. I think I paid it two to three times. For the other weeks, I kept the money because the school started to reduce the quality and size of our lunch. I just stopped paying and I never mentioned at home.
One woman sold some flour-made stuff in school at the time. They were shaped like concentric circles. They called them “fish rolls” but had no fish in them. But they came in curls which could be why they called them rolls.
I'd spend my lunch money buying all that stuff and when I got home, I ate lots of roasted corn. For roasted corn, I gave out the notebooks I used in school. My school gave us new notebooks when we used the final page. One of the teachers would sign on to it and give us a new one. In my most rebellious state, I’d tear the first and last pages to have it even and clean, so the signature is gone and I can get a new book. I just wanted to survive really. I did that a lot after I’d written my common entrance exams. It was my reward for the constant increments in our school fees. I could have used one notebook to collect five.
On most new books I got, I wrote poems, footballers’ names, their clubs and countries, countries and their capitals and sold the rest to Iya Toyin who gave me roasted corn in return.
At home, while my friends went to lessons organised by teachers in our school, who probably were doing it for extra cash at the time, I'd be out there on the football field with my other mates who weren't attending arguably the best school in town like me.
They'd call my name from afar once they saw me. They used to fight over me and would argue about quickly selecting ‘star players’. Yes, like Rilwan is a ‘star player-s. Don't forget the s. Some would even book me down from a day before because they'd bantered with their friends. On some days when my dad was around and I’m held back, they'd lurk around our sitting room, and whisper to me that they needed me on the field.
Those boys would bet some money on winning football games. Having good players on your side promised better results so everybody hustled to get a clear advantage. I was often on the winning side and they'd give me a share of their winnings which I mostly spent on roasted corn and football newspapers.
Older boys would banter about picking a team of better kids and they'd bet some money. Those older boys would stay in goal while coaching a team of younger boys. When my team won, I got between N20 and N50. Great money to have something in the pocket at the time.
Sometimes, some of my primary schoolmates would see me while coming back from their extra lessons and would want to join. I'd feel too embarrassed to tell them there is a bet and I was recruited as a mercenary.
Those fields we played on had older boys who gambled and smoked too. They saw some of the younger people playing football as their proteges. For some reason, many of them liked me, protected me and considered me smart and never offered me any crazy path. They only involved me in football talks and their bets when they selected teams.
When the older boys played against one another, I wanted to play too but they feared I could be bullied, be kicked when I dribble someone older and stronger, but I wasn't afraid of any of them.
Those guys smoked, drank and gambled and soon became street urchins chased around by Policemen and local vigilante groups. I saw a lot of those things even while taking a walk on the street and it stamped my desire. I don't want to be that guy.
Every nook and cranny had an “XYZ base” and they were like a community of young men who just wanted to feel fly and were usually recalcitrant. Teenage sensibilities and that lack of control was apparent in most of their dealings. They had proclivities that often got them in trouble. I knew I didn't want to be any of that.
My brothers weren't as present to protect me while I was growing because they all had to follow their paths. They were in school and for a long time, it was just my dad and I. He also had to go make money but trusted me to take care of myself. I took care of myself.
Whatever I did, I made sure it was within football and in my head, I was just protecting his happiness. I didn't want him to feel that he wasn't enough because in truth, he was more than enough. He gave me wings.
As I grew, boys around me and the closest people I was with had new shenanigans. It grew beyond football. I saw them smoke in uncompleted buildings, gamble cards and die games. I didn't want that. I was very sure. And I withdrew my regular contact from them except when we play football.
My new associations became the kids of those professionals whose parents were doctors, nurses, bank managers etc. I could see what life promised. Their parents usually admired me because I was coming from the wild parts of those streets. By extension, most of them respected my dad too because he was raising a good kid on his own.
You can imagine me getting to the university and I saw excited kids who smoked, gambled and drank away. They were having the time of their lives. They'd been held all their years and hadn't been free. I saw them and always remembered that period of my life — at a very young age in that wild, wild west of Sagamu.
That freedom to pick the life I wanted, make the choices I desired from a very young age is one of my father’s greatest gifts to me. I had two worlds, little guidance but great examples of good and bad, and for all the peace life promised, my choice was always clear. I chose peace.
Starssss Players lomooooo