Success, Pain and Life’s Shy Truths

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There’s no single story of success in the world that has come without pain. Pain is usually success’ best company. You can’t climb a ladder successfully without the pain of risk. Each step you climb, you think about tripping and falling, and you grip the ladder more tightly. That grip is painful, your racing mind isn’t resting too as you’re hoping that lightning doesn’t strike.

What can make you so successful can also be your greatest reason for pain. Think about the congratulations that follows childbirth. Think about the pain that accompanies the journey of pregnancy and childbirth itself. Think about the days your kid cries and you can’t state why, yet their image, the feeling of their presence feels joyful.

There’s a funny meme that comes up every now and then on Nigerian media spaces. It says “life is not hard, it’s you who wants to succeed.” Success is hard. And the most painful thing about success is it’s never enough. There’s no stop as to how high you can reach. And the higher you go, the higher the pain.

It takes some extreme pain to understand how farther one can go but even at that, people seek alternatives, just to stay in the game.

It’s hard to question the mindsets of people who have no ambitions. They have seen life for what it is and sit in vantage positions. They live by nobody’s measure and only do what they think should be done, not must be done. Those people do not feel pain as much as the ambitious do.

Success comes with a lot of pain. At every level of life, success is painful. The shinier the medal, the greater the pain, I say.

I pity the kids who have to wake up 5 a.m, or 6 a.m on some days to go to school. They are being lined on the road of pursuit of greatness. Ambition is being engendered in their routine and that’s how they learn to be competitive. It keeps rising and building, and they never want to lose in anything. That desire never to come short makes them fight and struggle to do a lot of things. Amidst that, there is the reality of where they are, and what sacrifices have been done to keep them ahead. Then, they work, hoping they never disappoint those who believe in them. It’s a cascade of events that begins at a very young age and it hardly changes till death.

Running a business successfully, graduating and progressing in academics and work, moving forward in life, being successful at anything comes with a lot of pain. Sometimes, even as you celebrate victories, you still feel the pain from preparation. People become addicted to things that endanger their lives because they chased success pants down. Drugs, drinks, behavioural patterns prove to be good company on those bumpy journeys but are bad presences for a decent life. They are as useful as destructive. Indeed, life is hard.

The excellent roadside mechanic goes home with a back ache everyday. The talented footballer has fluids drained from his knee every other day, added to the thousand and one things he can’t eat because they are not bad for his health but not good enough for a racing foot. The sonorous singer stretches her vocal cords so wide that she risks losing her voice someday. The world’s richest man lives with a headache of staying in that position. A good headache you may call it, but a headache is never good except we pretend it is.

I have spoken to people who are deemed successful men in their endeavours and they confirm success comes with great pain. They take loads of medicines to get by. Some of them are country miles away from their loved ones just to be better in life. Many men and women in the hearts of Lagos never spend enough time with their children because they leave their homes so early in pursuit of betterment. There’s the pain of losing their kids to the streets. The allure of balance sounds nice on the lips but it’s as easy as fitting a round object into a square hole.

Last week, videos of Brazilian football star,  Neymar’s rehabilitation from an anterior Cruciate ligament injury made the rounds. He writhed in pain as his knee got flexed and extended. He wore a beautiful shirt and had blings on his neck and wrists. He is a successful professional athlete who has made so much money. But he has also missed more than 100 games in his career due to injuries and has gone under the knife more times than he would probably remember. That’s the pain of success.

Let s/he who wants to be successful know that there’s a great amount of pain that comes with fulfilment; yet failure is hardly an option, as its pain is sharper, faster and longer lasting. Don’t gloss over the requirements of a successful life to those you love. Let them know that the days they will never cherish will come. Remind them of the tears, pain, blood and losses that will come with them. They will enjoy the joy of success, but even that may not be enough to take away all the pain they feel.

Be honest enough to tell them that life is always the grand victor, and nobody wins this game, but people leave a bit of themselves behind and that’s legacy. It’s for an eternal closure, that they haven’t lost this damned battle totally as we all learn to enjoy the pain.